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 Post subject: A more serious discussion
PostPosted: Fri May 02, 2008 6:25 am 
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Sorry if my thoughts begin to wander just a little bit as I think about this in the morning. I was thinking about this the other day as I thought about my life and I began to wonder. I really like feet. Though many of you probably knew that. I tend to prefer the male sex's feet as well, especially when it comes to furries. Anyways, as I think about my future with my fetish I begin to wonder... does that define me as being gay? To elaborate a little on myself, I don't really like the thought of sex. Be it I'm scared of it or it's just a turnoff, I'm not really sure of myself at the moment, I just know that I'd rather avoid it at the moment. Course, this leads me to my second subject, but that'll come up soon. So, at this moment I begin to wonder if that does make me a gay person though.

My second thought is about what I'm going to do with my future. I don't want to be alone my whole life, but at the same time I'm pretty sure that most people like having sex. So I'm willing to bet I'm in the minority at the moment. I like to hang out with other guys and I even have some friends who are girls I hang around with every so often. I love my internet furry buddies as well. But when I start thinking about one day having a romantic relationship, I can't help but think I might get shafted or at least I'd feel bad if I dated someone and they found out I didn't ever want to have sex and yet they did. I mean, in my ideal world I'd be able to just find a really cool guy who has great feet and just sleep with his feet every night and have lots of fun and things in common. Heck, if I were totally delusional I'd be a wolf and I'd be able to find a really good looking cat, wolf or otter to spend my time and days with. I like long walks on the beach and enjoy the occasional tummyrub, etc. But as I shoot myself back to reality... I begin to grow slightly anxious about the future and fearful about the prospect of going through it all alone. So my second question leads me to... What do you guys think? Care to add any opinions or thoughts to this? I apologize if you see this as the lone musings of a passive wolf and feel you've wasted your time.

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 Post subject: Re: A more serious discussion
PostPosted: Fri May 02, 2008 12:18 pm 
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Location: Speed City, IN
Well, if you're looking for terminology and semantics and stuff I think I might be able to help.

Firstly, if you're looking for an uncomplicated relationship it might help to tell potential SOs that you're celibate/abstinent. Now, like you said, if they're 'normal,' they're still going to want dick, or dickings, or sex, and they'll just need to know to find it elsewhere. If that won't bother you, and you can dually find someone whom that won't bother, then you're set.

As faur as 'what you are' is concerned, that's really for you to decide. I may get an earful for saying this, but, if you don't wanna be gay, then don't be; yes it's genetic, yes it's how you were brought up, but you can change it (or atleast modulate it) if you really want to.

As has been noted in previous conversations, I'm the same way you are in that I'm faggish (though not gay -- around 35%) and won't engage in sex IRL. Do I still have sex-drive? Yeah. 'Just nowhere to go with it, sotospeak. I can't stay in relationships because of my tendency to be such an inappeasable switch (last one was seven years ago) -- 'can't stay down because I'm antagonistic and elitist, but I don't want to stay in control because I'm so self-hating.

Being alone is my thing -- 'not planning on kids, and also just feeling tortured and lonely is good for creativity, so there you go.

So, you're an asexual among other things, at this point, because you're not into sex. It's up for debate as to whether there's really such a thing as a gay and/or furry asexual.
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 Post subject: Re: A more serious discussion
PostPosted: Fri May 02, 2008 10:37 pm 
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Oracle of the Slipper
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*aaahs! as he's spinning into an oppositely-spinning vortex of semantics*

Well, I'll point out that just because you don't like "standard sex(tm)" that doesn't mean you're asexual. I will most likely be a "virgin" until the day I die, and I'm not particularly worried about that. But you're damn better believe I likes to orgasm!

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 Post subject: Re: A more serious discussion
PostPosted: Fri May 02, 2008 11:49 pm 
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Blue Raptor
Posts: 1277
Species: anthro raptor
Location: Raptorland
No, really. Dont worry.
There's lots of folks that enjoy things in fantasies or online, including sexual acts, that they would not want to do irl (in real life), let alone with the ones whose character their character does that things online with. And even where I for example would enjoy things that I do with a sexy beefy (male) dragon irl too, that still doesnt mean I'd want to do it with a human.
And loving sexy male dragon feet surely doesnt make you a 'gay', stamp a label on your forehead, and from that moment on you have to want sex with any male being you see.
Even if you like someone male irl and feel attached to him, that doesnt make you gay. I still think the average and default furry is male, gay, and from the US, :angel: but there none the less are those that can enjoy a good hug from a (furry) friend without wanting passionate lovers' kissing or a penis in a bodily orifice. Plus I am sure there is tons of folks in whatever combination of genders that enjoy doing nice/intinmate/kinky/perverted things together, but not sex too.
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 Post subject: Re: A more serious discussion
PostPosted: Sat May 03, 2008 4:44 am 
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Snufftastic Raptor!
Posts: 497
Species: Half-Demon Deinonychus
Location: Nürnberg, Germany
I'm now 26 years old. I have never done as much as kissed someone. I am technically as much as a virgin as possible. Still from all the people I know, all my friends and family, I can easily state that I have the best sex of them all. By far. My partners are creative, smart, full of fantasy and ideas. Different to reality, our options are without limit. All you need is a mind full of pictures.

What is sexual activity, really? Physical stimulation of genital organs, nothing more. The only difference between jacking off and sex is that at least one other person is joining you in the fun. That doesn't necessarily mean you need that other person to physically stimulate you though. All you need for that is one healthy hand. You don't need to worry about contraception or STDs either. Monogamy is not required as well. Homosexuality is only a term used to describe physical sexual interaction applied to a partner of the same gender. In a realm of fantasy, that word holds no merit.

I have more than once put off reaching physical climaxing for weeks on end because in this condition, it spurs on my fantasy even more, makes playing with my friends more intense - or leads us to drawing and animating our fantasies together. Do you know anyone in your life that puts that much effort into "true" sex? I do not.

Long story short: If I would be reborn one day and would get to decide between normal sexuality and my herpetophilic fetish, I would pick the second option once more.
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 Post subject: Re: A more serious discussion
PostPosted: Sat May 03, 2008 12:43 pm 
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Oracle of the Slipper
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Yeah, I'm pretty damned happy with my sexual orientation...although maybe one lifetime I want to try it the Dekhyr way and have sex with the tailpipes of cars. :)

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 Post subject: Re: A more serious discussion
PostPosted: Sun May 04, 2008 7:02 am 
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Talking Tyrannosaur
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The future seems pretty big and scary to me too when I stop and think about it - but that's only because I know for certain that I don't have a clue what to expect from it.

The average person knows just what is expected of him (mature, find a partner, have kids) because trillions of people have lived that way since the species started; but hardly any people have sexless sexual lives and even fewer have furry foot fetishes to go with them, so there just aren't any asexual herpy stereotypes for us to follow. There's no age-old wealth of experience for us to seek out or role models for us to mimick. In short, we have to make our own ways through life and we might as well drop the usual expectations while we're at it - they were formed by people who have different natural urges from us, so trying to live up to them will only be confusing and frustrating.

Having no preset lifestyle to mimick should be liberating really - we can all be pioneers in our own sexual lives. But that doesn't mean we have to be lonely or frightened about the future - as the existence of this community shows, even though we're just a tiny minority, none of us here are alone.
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 Post subject: Re: A more serious discussion
PostPosted: Sun May 04, 2008 3:04 pm 
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Oracle of the Slipper
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Heh...don't you get it, Diablo? We're the role models. Ain't that scary?

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 Post subject: Re: A more serious discussion
PostPosted: Sun May 04, 2008 8:03 pm 
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A lonely dragon
Posts: 20
Species: Dragon
Location: US
I completely agree. I love not being in a relationship with anyone. My theory is that if your not in a relationship, you'll do better in life than most people who are in one, but that's MY THEORY. I had 2 girlfriends a few years ago (not at the same time of course) and I didn't enjoy either relationship, because there was nothing worth being in a relationship about. My point being, I don't care for "actual" physical sex. Sure, I like to jackoff to some big scaley feet (mostly male) as much as anyone else here would, but I don't really thing that makes me "gay". I don't really care if I ever have a love relationship with anyone, just as long as I have friends to talk to and hang around with, I'll be just fine.

Hope I've helped you out a little Yakitate :)

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 Post subject: Re: A more serious discussion
PostPosted: Mon May 05, 2008 3:06 am 
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Talking Tyrannosaur
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Dinosorceror wrote:
Heh...don't you get it, Diablo? We're the role models. Ain't that scary?

*Follows his own tail and goes in circles*
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 Post subject: Re: A more serious discussion
PostPosted: Mon May 05, 2008 7:53 am 
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Blue Raptor
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Diablo wrote:
*Follows his own tail and goes in circles*
*can very easily picture the rex doing that, as well as rumbling in confusion and frustration at things confusing and frustrating... *

... And loving kinky things and living them out online and pawing off on that also doesnt mean one cannot still none the less believe in and hope to one day find the one big true (heterosexual) love of one's life... :worried: maybe for 'normal' sex too...

:whistle:
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 Post subject: Re: A more serious discussion
PostPosted: Mon May 05, 2008 8:36 am 
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Thanks for the input everyone. It's good to know that I'm not alone in my thoughts. I was kind of feeling slightly anxious that day and pondering where my life was going and how it'd end up. I still wonder though if I'll ever find someone special to share my life with though or if that's just wishful thinking. I was also just randomly thinking about what's classified as gay or not and wondering about everyone's opinion on that as well. Though according to what I've heard it seems that lots of people out there just tend to hate furries as well and I suppose that'll be another topic I'll bring about later but just thought I'd mention it. But thanks for your thoughts guys.

Oh and Dino, are you fit to be a role model? *snickers*

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 Post subject: Re: A more serious discussion
PostPosted: Mon May 05, 2008 1:44 pm 
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Oracle of the Slipper
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Well, I certainly don't think I'm a great role model, but I did find someone to spend the rest of my life with, y'know. ;)

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 Post subject: Re: A more serious discussion
PostPosted: Thu May 08, 2008 4:42 am 
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Blue wrote:
I still think the average and default furry is male, gay, and from the US...


And don't forget overweight, too.
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 Post subject: Re: A more serious discussion
PostPosted: Thu May 08, 2008 8:30 am 
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Blue Raptor
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Patch wrote:
Blue wrote:
I still think the average and default furry is male, gay, and from the US...

And don't forget overweight, too.
I thought that came along with 'from the US'. ;)
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