Legacy LD5

~ Sometime Earlier Today ~
Woulfe : We have a victim here with us.....
Stan : Bring out Mathew Brodrick....
Mathew Brodrick : That's a lotta....
Gary : Shut up you & get ready to eat crow...
Crow : How did I get mixxed up in this....
Timm : You were free for this few hours today....
Kraze : I Knew him when he was little....
Derp : When was he ever little ?
Me : Guys, we got a film to review, also, no spoilers please....
Woulfe : Why do we have Mathew Brodrick anyway ?
Stan : He was the only one we tracked down from the 98 film, GINO didn't return our calls....
Crow : Too busy from but-hurt is what I heard....
Mathew : That's....
Timm : NO TALKING YOU, shush
Kraze : Does anyone even remember the 98 film ?
~ everyone looks at Kaze as if he's lost his mind ~
Kraze : Okay... that answers that....
~ theater lights dim ~
Derp : Why are there TV ads in movie theaters ?
Me ; Why are there ads for movies on TV ?
Mathew : That's a....
All but him : SHUT UP !
~ TRAILERS ~
All : Might see that, might see that, oooo look How To Train Yer Dragon 2 : Electric Boogaloo, might see that....
( this goes on for the rest of the trailers )
~ Theater Goes Dark ~
Woulfe : With a purposeful grimace....
Me : Not yet... Credits first....
Stan : Where did they dig up this old footage, they cleaned it up nicly didn't they....
Gary : Atomic Cafe did the same, took old archive footage & cleaned it up....
Timm : Possibly got it from them....
Kraze : 1954, I have a feeling we're gonna see that date pop up a lot in this film...
Me : Gee I wonder why....
Woulfe : and a terrible sound....
Me : Are you gonna do that though our entire review ?
Woulfe : YES, I AM, heh heh heh heh heh heh heh....
Mathew : That's...
Crow : Maybe we should gag Mathew during this....
Gray : Won't work he'll just end up texting that lame line....
Timm : charcater copyright TOHO, you better have that up there Warners...
Kraze : This music is very Ifikube like, don't you think ?
Derp : First scene..... JAPAN.... Duh....
Woulfe : He pulls the spitting high tension wires down....
Me : I think Woulfe has Blue Oysters on the brain....
Stan : Better then eating them.... Ugh, why are they blue anyway ?
Gary : Hi, I work at a nuke plant, what do you know about these films & nuke plants....
Timm : I know, don't work in them in films like this....
Kraze : Bingo !
Crow : Darn I was one number away too...
Me : This is my wife she also works here....
Stan : I smell sub-plot one of these will die & the other will seek out the cause of their death....
Woulfe : Helpless people on a subway train....
Gary : He' not gonna stop doing that is he ?
Timm : No he isn't....
Kraze : At least it's not that lame line from the 98 film....
Mathew : That's....
Me : Okay tie him down & gag him guys....
~ one bound and gagged Mathew Brodrick later ~
Derp : Hi I'm the cute kid, I won't get killed because those are the rules of Horror films....
Crow : I still don't know why I'm here....
Stan : The wonders of speed dialing my friend....
Mathew : ( merfefgertz )
Woulfe : Scream bug-eyed as he looks in on them....
Me : I think Woulfe needs to see a doctor about that Blue Oyster condition...
Stan : He does know we can't mention the star's name in this review, right ?
Gary : Earthquake ? I don't think so, Look we've seen enough of these to know that's not what it is....
Timm : Quake, nuke plant, that sub-plot is forming a lot faster then it should....
Derp : It's time to play... GUESS WHO'S GOING TO DIE....
Crow : I call dibs on the wife....
Woulfe : He picks up a bus and he throws it back down....
Me : There's no cure for Woulfe's condition guys, we just have to put up with it over the next few hours....
Kraze : Knew that would happen.... But then again seen every single one of these films.... no surprise there....
~ sometime later ~
Timm : So where is our star anyway ?
Stan : You do know he's pushing 60 plus years, be lucky if he can find his way to the set even....
Gary : He'll show up, but first BACKSTORY....
Kraze : Could you chew that bit of scenery over there while your at it mister, thank you....
Woulfe : As he wades through the buildings toward the center of town....
Crow : He better show up before Woulfe gets to the main verse...
Me : Oh look, a new monster, who would of thunk it, well, that is what that was earlier....
Stan : What a tease, eh, folks were possibly expecting it to be the star, I bet...
Gary : Looks like I lost that bet....
Kraze : pay up pal....
~ later in the film still ~
Woulfe : Oh no, they say he's got to go go go....
Me : Was wondering how Woulfe would deal with that part of the song.....
Stan : WOW, what an entrance, okay that was worth the wait...
Gary : Well, he does know how to make a BIG entrance after all....
Kraze : Well he's been doing this for over 60 years after all you know....
Crow : We gonna untie Mathew later on ?
Timm : Let's leave him like this....
Derp : Our scenery chewing actor just can't get a break it seems, just ends up in one situation after another....
Me : He's just following in the footsteps of every other co-star in films like this....
Woulfe : Oh no, there goes Tokyo go go....
Crow : still avoiding saying his name are we ?
Stan : Normal for our reviews to remain spoiler free....
Gary : Even tho' it follows the plot of every other VS film he's ever done....
Timm : True, just 2 hours instead of 90 mins....
~ more time passes ~
Woulfe : History shows again and again....
Stan : Well this is a fun situation....
Gary : these critters are so gonna love him, you know, being that his daddy is the H-bomb & all....
Timm : We've covered a lot of cities in a short time in the film's overall plot...
Derp : Oh that's gonna leave a mark, a BIG mark at that....
Me : GAH, stupid birds, wasn't expecting a jump scare, not from one of these films, well played movie....
Crow : go school bus driver, get the heck out of there...
Stan : Yes bus driver is like screw this stuff, I'm outta here before me & these kids become cannon fodder....
Gary : The kids were safe.... Not one had a red shirt on....
Timm : Was wondering when we'd drop a Star Trek ref in this review, do I get my $5 now ?
Derp : Dang....
Woulfe : How nature points up the folly of men....
Me : So very true....
Stan : Amen....
Gary : Is that what I think it is.... Blue glow all along his.... OH MY....
Timm : YES....
Derp : They had to use it at least once in the new film, it's in his contract....
Me : Too bad the 98 film didn't have that contract at the time....
Crow : This wasn't on the main event at Wrestlemania was it....
Woulfe : History shows again and again....
Stan : big finish time, yes ?
Timm : BIG finish time indeed....
Kraze : Hum.... They wouldn't dare end it like this....
Derp : No way, not if the plan is to start the franchise yet AGAIN....
Woulfe : How nature points up the folly of men....
Me : Well, that was interesting, but we knew they'd do that didn't we ?
Stan : If there's one thing Hollywood knows, is you gotta give people the option to do another one....
Gary : And another and another and another.... Like James Bond....
Timm : Well, here's the end credits....
Derp : Go ahead Woufe, say it now....
Woulfe : GODZILLA !
~ Mathew Brodrick had to eat Crow after it was all over ~
Final Rating : A million times better then that 98 film

Well, Woulfe, I think you're the only one who liked it. I'm going to see it in about 12 hours with Jenn and GryphRaptor, just to watch the train wreck really...

I'll be eating some crow now, I guess.

Gonna keep this short, as I'm wee and lazy. First off, from the macrophile perspective, there's only a few passable stomps, but there is a lot of power and presence from the big guy. You will not see the movie for stomps.

After reading the director say "Well, I didn't want to overload folks with CGI, so there's not a lot of Godzilla in your face" or whatever he said, and reading the wiki and seeing both the writer AND the director were absolute nobodies, and I even read the whole movie synopsis ahead of time and was like 'feh'...I was actually seeing the movie primarily to see how bad it actually was.

...well, holy crap, was I wrong. It was a very decent movie. Yes, there wasn't enough Godzilla, but the buildup didn't drag and wasn't all stupid lovey-dovey. It was *not* a popcorn movie like "Pacific Rim" where you're just going for the action scenes. It was a regular sci-fi movie movie. Like "Alien", only with kaiju. Actually, that's a good analogy, as you didn't get a lot of alien action until the end of that movie, either.

Godzilla's toes may be debatable, and he may seem fat and dumpy, but...seeing him in action...he's plenty sexy-powerful. Like if Samuel L. Jackson was a Kaiju, not putting up with no shit. And I don't think anyone can argue he's got a handsome mug.

I always like to rate monster movies as what I think Kage would think of them. Y'know, the classy macrophile's viewpoint. I think Kage would like the movie, and think it was respectable of the Toho franchise. I do, too. 7/10.