ESC wrote:
...which reminds me...
(CRITIC CAP ON)
When is this narration taking place? After or during?
Could it be while the thoughts were accumulated to tell the audience (us) what he/you've gone through?
Is it more than coincidence to have the king penalize you through "her" rather than death and that he's/you're not dead at that point (aside from the paw-slutty factors you bastards crave)?
Are 1000 gold pieces and 20 selected gems worth the assassination of a king?
Besides telling what he is/you are now, what was he/you before, and of what purpose is he/are you that he is/you are now?
Don't worry if don't answer them, they're just mental notes for me to see what you have in store, and hopefully will not include any bias or affect to your main purpose, plot, ideas, style, or sanity.
P.S. - You spelled "uncon[s]cious" wrong. :
And another note...
Why does the oxymoron occur between a "dream come true or a nightmare"? Is it by the punishment or torture and sluttiness? (Which is probably a rhetorical question)
*bites tongue* obviously since this is/was written in the past tense, the narraration is/was afterwards, it would be/would have been quite difficult to write while being trampled, the king obviously does/did not know a few things
, I already stated in my story that the gold and gems
were/are worth it, the last sentence in the first paragraph doesn't/didn't even make sense to me *rubs forehead*, yes, that is/was a rhetorical question, and THE NEXT PERSON TO CORRECT MY SPELLING I'M GOING TO... I"ll... AHHH!!!!
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anyday.