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 Post subject: T. Rex Revenge
PostPosted: Fri Jul 10, 2009 2:15 pm 
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smexy assassin
Posts: 191
Species: anthroraptor
Location: The Middle of Nowair Oakluhoma
This is my second story. I've had the idea for quite some time, but I just couldn't quite get it down on paper - er, microsoft word, I guess. Anyways, have a nice read!

I crawled military-style through the underbrush, my scales entirely black to blend in with the dark night. My target is a pair of seemingly unguarded eggs, but I know better. Nothing of importance is ever left unguarded. I was hired by a local tribe of fellow raptors. They wanted me to get rid of a pair of T. Rex eggs to eliminate hunting competition in future years. I once knew a fellow raptor who tried the same thing, and was never seen again - except as a bloody pulp deep in a tyrannosaur's footprint. I would not make his mistake. The money is not my entire reason for what I do, it is simply the thrill, the rush of adrenaline at just the moment before the strike, and the satisfaction of a job well done. Although it does pay to enjoy such thrills.

I was a mere twenty yards away and I still had spotted no signs of activity. That worried me. T. Rexes rarely left their eggs unattended, especially when the eggs appeared to be ready to hatch at any moment. Ten yards away, I finally spotted a lone rex asleep some distance from the eggs. I would have to move quietly, but quickly. I rushed in on silent feet. I rushed to the eggs and dropped to all fours again. I had not been noticed. I looked in surprise to find that there were nearly a dozen eggs! I didn't know much about t. rex behavior, so I merely noted that fact and decided to charge a bit extra for my trouble. I carefully, with one claw, poked a fist-sized hole in each egg. Enough to leak out all nutrients, but quieter than simply breaking open the eggs. My task completed, I had only to slip away silently into the night and claim my reward. I moved cautiously back towards the trees. I stepped up onto a log as I slinked back towards the cover of the woods, when suddenly, the log moved under me.

I fell to the ground, confused at first, but then realizing what had happened. I looked up in fear to see the rex whose tail I had stepped on began to stir, then rise to its full, gigantic height. Stay still, I thought, His vision is based on movement, right? I tried to comfort myself with these thoughts as the rex strode towards the eggs and sniffed at them. Alarmed suddenly, the rex let out a roar that seemed to literally tear through the air. I covered my ears and squinted my eyes in pain. When I looked up again, what I had thought moments before had been oddly-shaped hills turned out to be more tyrannosaurs. It's a whole family group! I realized with horror. Each of the rexes in turn sniffed at the eggs and let out equally loud roars filled with a fury unmatched by any creature ever to walk the earth - the rage of a mother over a lost child.

I knew at that point that I was in trouble. BIG trouble. The rexes began sniffing around and stomping the ground, searching angrily for the perpetrator of this terrible crime. I had only to stay still, but I was, unfortunately, in the path of one of the rexes as it searched ravenously for me. If I moved, I would be spotted, if I stayed, I would surely be trampled. I waited until the last moment, then dove to the side just as the rex's foot crashed down in the space I had so recently occupied. One of the other rexes snapped its head around straight towards me. In that moment, our eyes locked and I knew that I was doomed. Those fiercely burning eyes told me so.

The rex let out another roar and charged at me, followed by a few other rexes that happened to see me at the same time. I turned and started to run, but was stopped dead in my tracks when I ran into a waiting rex's leg. I fell back on my back and scrambled back. The rex glared down at me with contemptuous eyes and took one step forward. I scrambled back further and bumped into another rex's leg. I looked around. I was surrounded on all sides. I swallowed nervously. This was not good.

One of the females, larger than the rest, stepped forward and the rest of the rexes parted for her. She looked down at me with fury in her eyes. She lifted one foot and SLAMMED it down on my torso, forcing the air from my lungs. I gasped for air, but the rex's foot was as unforgiving as concrete. Her heel pressed down on my groin and her middle toe pressed against my face. She stepped forward off me, only for another rex with an equally furious gaze stomp down on me again. Again and again I was trampled down into the ground. One rex would step off only for another to take its place. Eventually, my scales began to split or fall off under the continuous pounding, leaking blood everywhere. One particularly brutal stomp to the face forced my head sideways and forced my jaws open wide. I tried to struggle away, but there was no time for me to move between when one rex stepped off and another stepped on.

After a bit longer, whenever the rexes lifted their feet, I would stick to their soles. This became a sort of cruel game. The rexes would try to see how many steps they could take before I fell off and the next rex would begin. I was tired. I was bleeding. I needed to get away. The rexes began a new game then. They made a huge circle and flung me off their feet straight towards another rex across the circle, who, in turn, would stomp down on me, grind its foot on me to make sure I was securely stuck to its sole, and fling me across again. I saw an oppurtunity. A small one, but an oppurtunity nonetheless. If I could somehow get a rex to fling me too far, I might be able to escape. This was but a fantasy for me, though, as I was brutally pounded by the tyrannosaurs' feet.

The alpha female who had begun the trampling suddenly roared again and all activity stopped. I did my best to look in that direction, though I was still pinned by a young male rex's foot. The female stepped forward roughly shoved aside the male. She began to flex the muscles in her legs and deepened her breathing. I knew she was getting ready to end this. I looked desperately for a way out. The rex lifted her foot. I hoped I had enough strength in my legs. The rex stomped down just as I rolled away, coming up sprinting. I made for the woods, but two large males blocked my path. Gritting my teeth through the pain of mere movement, I sprinted straight towards them. If t. rexes were capable of laughing, those two would have been. One lifted a foot to crush me, but as he brought his foot down, I dropped to my knees, sliding just under the rex's foot, cutting it so close that I almost lost my tail to the giant foot.

I ran as fast as I could. The other rex was chasing me, though, with the rest of the twenty-some-odd rexes behind him. On a good day, I would have been able to sprint to safety, but I was exhausted by the earlier trampling and I would not be able to keep up this pace for long. I saw my escape ahead. A young male raptor, about fifteen seasons old. I hated to do it, but it was all I could do. He was unsuspecting, looking across towards a human settlement. I leaped up and grabbed him by the tail. He cried out in surprise as I began to strategically claw open wounds on his chest and arms to match my own. I then punched him hard in the back of the head to disorient him and tossed him back towards the rexes chasing me.

The young raptor shook his head, opened his eyes, and was slammed down by a rex's foot. The alpha female stepped forward once more. This time, she was taking no chances. Despite the young raptor's protests, who was still partially pinned beneath the male's foot, she placed her foot firmly down on his face. She then lifted her foot high and slammed it down with earth-shattering force, crushing the young raptor's skull into a bloody pulp. She then ground the remains of his skull into the ground. She gave a satisfied snort and all the rexes began to walk off.

I watched all this from the bushes, weeping for the young raptor and praying for forgiveness. When the rexes were gone, I crept silently to where the mangled corpse of the raptor lay. I bowed my head, crossed one arm over my chest, and let some of my blood drip onto his corpse as is tradition in my tribe. I then slunk off into the woods once more.

Well, I hope you liked it! Please comment! ESC, if you critique my spelling...
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 Post subject: Re: T. Rex Revenge
PostPosted: Fri Jul 10, 2009 5:37 pm 
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Oracle of the Slipper
Posts: 2661
Species: Weesaur
Location: Ankh Ridge, Alyeska
Wow, holy crap! :) I think Diablo probably can't reply to this one 'cause his head just exploded. :) Ahastar, too!

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 Post subject: Re: T. Rex Revenge
PostPosted: Fri Jul 10, 2009 8:30 pm 
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Posts: 552
Species: Black Ice-Demon Dragon
I see none save for ONE spelling mistake that I won't mention. :P

However...on purpose or accident to lure me into your lusty foot trap? Trying to be sly there, eh...? 8-)

So, of the two stories, none correlated on a entwined storyline, meaning that all these are like tidbits, scraps, and entries. And as you talk of the past, what about the present? Are you learning from these stories told (since in both stories there was a foiled mistake that converted to danger and claw stomping)?

And why so brief on describing breath-holding moments if "[your] entire reason for what I do...is simply the thrill, the rush of adrenaline at just the moment before the strike"? It almost claims that these were written to show your feelings side with the thrill better of being stomped rather than the "rush of adrenaline...before the strike."

Anyways, good story. :)

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 Post subject: Re: T. Rex Revenge
PostPosted: Sat Jul 11, 2009 2:42 am 
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Talking Tyrannosaur
Posts: 861
Species: Tyrannosaurus
*Reforms his head*

Wow, that was some pretty intense stuff, Razor - excellent work! Your character is one tough reptile to be able to survive a mass trampling by a family of rexes and still escape!

Poor rexes; I hope they know how to mend their eggs...
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 Post subject: Re: T. Rex Revenge
PostPosted: Sat Jul 11, 2009 3:48 am 
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Posts: 169
Species: N/A
Location: Japan
According to this story, it seems that the dinosaurs have been much intelligent than what they used to be.
I'm always glad to see T-Rexes who likes stomping or crushing.
Well, I think it is difficult for any T-Rexes to press their heel down.
And you described you were stomped to be stuck to the rexes sole, but you could still escape. So your body is very strong.
Anyway, this story has many good ideas of my favorites. Nice work, comrade !

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 Post subject: Re: T. Rex Revenge
PostPosted: Sat Jul 11, 2009 7:55 pm 
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smexy assassin
Posts: 191
Species: anthroraptor
Location: The Middle of Nowair Oakluhoma
Thank you all for your comments! ESC, I actually appreciate your criticism this time. (The spelling mistake was actually an accident, but I knew there would be at least one) Yes, I do have a strong body due to the rigorous training I took to become an assassin, although it took me several weeks to recover from this particular escapade. I actually completed my objective this time, though! I was able to pay for the hospital bill that time. :P :claw:
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 Post subject: Re: T. Rex Revenge
PostPosted: Sat Jul 11, 2009 8:28 pm 
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Posts: 552
Species: Black Ice-Demon Dragon
Well then, I thank you for your italicized appreciation. :)

But anyways, are you going to be a dynamic character instead of clumsily being foiled by little accidents? Or did they not teach that in your training? :P

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 Post subject: Re: T. Rex Revenge
PostPosted: Sat Jul 11, 2009 8:53 pm 
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smexy assassin
Posts: 191
Species: anthroraptor
Location: The Middle of Nowair Oakluhoma
Yes, I do plan on tying my stories in with each other from this point on, although I probably will fail many more assignments, otherwise there would hardly be a story to tell. :P Something else I forgot to mention was that this story was inspired partially by Diablo and his sheer awesomeness, and also by some of Ahastar's art. (whose web site you should really visit if you haven't already) My previous story was also inspired by Diablo. Specifically, his playing with the prisoner picture. (which is AWESOME)
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 Post subject: Re: T. Rex Revenge
PostPosted: Sun Jul 12, 2009 4:14 am 
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Posts: 169
Species: N/A
Location: Japan
So, that's why this story is awesome.
And you rather like violent stomping, right?

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 Post subject: Re: T. Rex Revenge
PostPosted: Sun Jul 12, 2009 2:47 pm 
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smexy assassin
Posts: 191
Species: anthroraptor
Location: The Middle of Nowair Oakluhoma
I like violent and nonviolent stomps. Either way is still awesome! And Diablo, "Poor rexes"!? What about me!? *sigh* the sympathy of a tyrannosaur...
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 Post subject: Re: T. Rex Revenge
PostPosted: Sun Jul 12, 2009 3:39 pm 
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Movie Monster
Posts: 343
Species: Anthro Dragon
Location: Minnesota
Razor wrote:
I like violent and nonviolent stomps. Either way is still awesome! And Diablo, "Poor rexes"!? What about me!? *sigh* the sympathy of a tyrannosaur...


Well, let's be honest. It was kind of a dick move going after those eggs.
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 Post subject: Re: T. Rex Revenge
PostPosted: Mon Jul 13, 2009 6:37 pm 
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smexy assassin
Posts: 191
Species: anthroraptor
Location: The Middle of Nowair Oakluhoma
Well, I payed for it, too, didn't I? I make stupid mistakes, but at least I don't make them more than once! usually... T. Rex + raptor = :ninastomp:
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 Post subject: Re: T. Rex Revenge
PostPosted: Tue Jul 14, 2009 12:58 am 
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Blue Raptor
Posts: 1277
Species: anthro raptor
Location: Raptorland
Razor wrote:
usually... T. Rex + raptor = :ninastomp:

Or lots of messy sexy wild dinosaur intercourse... :whistle:

You seem to be pretty decent at writing from what I peeked at already, proper and not too short sentences, interesting plot, not repeating words over and over, ... its fluid and easily readable. ( as opposed to some of those writing attempts you stumble across story sites that are just a pain to read and feel like ever line makes you a dumber, e.g. Decent writing obviously isnt that easy. )

I just aint much a fan of the :claw: or :ninastomp: or such, so I usually leave reading and commenting on those to our numerous happy pawlovers. :)
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 Post subject: Re: T. Rex Revenge
PostPosted: Tue Jul 14, 2009 8:41 pm 
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smexy assassin
Posts: 191
Species: anthroraptor
Location: The Middle of Nowair Oakluhoma
Wow, I just thought everyone here liked that kind of thing. But it's nice to have a good opinion from someone who isn't even into the kinds of things I like to write about. Thank you for the compliment! :lol:
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 Post subject: Re: T. Rex Revenge
PostPosted: Sat Oct 24, 2009 10:43 pm 
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smexy assassin
Posts: 191
Species: anthroraptor
Location: The Middle of Nowair Oakluhoma
Hey, it was either him or me. "Death before dishonor" has no meaning to me. I do greatly grieve for that poor soul, though. But you'll see, it was necessary.
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