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 Post subject: Skyrimjob (skyrim parody)
PostPosted: Fri Oct 26, 2012 1:15 pm 
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Blackredragoness
Posts: 84
Species: GEOGREYMON
Location: Kentucky, USA
Skyrimjob
I woke with a sudden jolt... The feeling of falling filled my brain. I was being tossed off a cart. Next to me was a girl I had just barely met.. Tali was it... Last time I was a furry and she had kept me alive long enough to survive in the gangster filled city. Now I wondered where we were. I looked down... The good news was that I was no longer a wolf... Now I was a eight foot tall reptilian creature with black and red scales. My body ended in a long stiffened tail... My head was a raptor like face only difference was my long strong horns that curled slightly. My mouth was filled with long sharp teeth. Capable of slicing through light metal.though I was not wearing any clothing that was okay... From what I know about lizards and such their bodies internal organs are well... Hidden in their body from he outside world unlike humans where they show lizards are hidden by a anal scale one or more scales. I could tell that I was right where my junk was suppose to be a bunch of scales covered it in a unique pattern. Thank god I wasn't nude. I looked down at my hands... Just like being a dog I had three fingers not five. My palms where covered in scales and my fingers ended in long talons. Color black instead of white seemed kind of weird but I wasn't gonna argue. As with my hands my feet where three long toes with sharp talons on the ends... A differences between now and before my foot was instead of being on a sole if was only supported by the front of the foot like being on my tippy toes. On the hind of my foot was a small sickle claw. Cool I always wanted to be a lizard... The group of humans in front of us where clearly in charge. I listened in, "Step up... Anyone thinking they can escape are free to try. You will all die anyways..." One of the humans started to panic and yelled, "I'm gonna DIE!!!" He took off down the road... As he did a group of archers fired arrows nailing him in various spots. Blood poured from his body. "Anyone else wanting to try?!" As he said that Tali began to wake up. "Tali we've got get the fuck out of here!!! Their killing people!!! She rubbed her head, "damn sparky talk softer why don't you!!" As she said that the second human who had been captured moved towards the guillotine... I watched as the large blade went upwards... As the victim squirmed the blade went down and in one clean motion the head bounced down onto the ground blood spilled onto the ground. I gagged at the sight of the blood pouring out. Like when you hit a pumpkin with a axe and the sound of the pumpkin exploding into small almost shattered peice. Mix that with tomatoes and you got yourself a decapitated head. I looked at Tali she barely budged as if caught in fear. The guards turned to me and pointed at the guillotine. "Oh no oh hell. NO!!!!" I darted away just as the guards prepared to fire a arrow a loud sound came out of nowhere. Feeling a sudden need to duck I dropped to the ground. A dragon flew straight over head and a large burst of flame exploded from its maw. Scrotching the guillotine I charged back to Tali. She was struggling at her ropes. "Help me sparky!!" No time I grabbed at her arms and pulled her towards the nearest building I could find. Behind me Tali struggled at her chains... I had to go back or she would be fried by the dragons breath. I darted towards her as the giant fiery beast swooped down... "Hey fire ball GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM HER!!!" I jumped up just high enough to get a snag onto the dragons leg. It howled and took off and tried to shake me. I quickly climb my way up its scaly hide. As I was thrown around my hands had began to loose its grip. My hand suddenly posts it's hold on the scaly beast. Looking down the ground was way below... "This is gonna hurt!!! FUUUUUUCK!!!!!" The dragon kicked and I fell. The air whirled past me causing me to flop. The ground was getting closer as I fell. Behind me the dragon found his chance to act its revenge on me. I watched as the dragon opened its large maw and dove straight at me. "NOOOOOO FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!" It grabbed me in its jaw. I quickly spread my arms out catching its large teeth preventing me from being swallowed. Behind me the depths of its maw and in front of me the ever ending ground. I had to come up with something quick. I felt the full power of the dragons grip as my arms began to buckle. "YOU AEN'T GONNA EAT ME GOU FUXKING BEAST!!" I looked back into is throat trying to find a idea... Suddenly something came to me... I looked down finding a suitable item... A large fanged tooth... Sensing I would only have one chance I grabbed at it and with as much power as I had yanked the tooth out... Blood spewed into my eyes next to blinding me... The dragon howled and shut its mouth. Sense in that my chance failed I jammed the tooth into the dragons throat... It quickly figured out that I was not a good choice of a meal since I knew how to fight back. "YOU LIKE THAT YOU FUCKING LIZARD?! GODZILLA MUTHER FUCKER!!" I stabbed the tooth into the dragons tongue. I howled and quickly gulped... I felt myself slipping sensing that this was not gonna end the way I wanted I ripped out another tooth and like a pick axe I jabbed it into the dragons throat keepin me from falling into its stomach. The dragon shook frantically trying to get me to slip, sure enough the throats natural defenses took over covering me in dragon saliva. I began to loose grip so I took one final step... I slammed my foot into the dragons throat... It knew that it would not win this fight... In a painful fight it ejaculated me in a pile of saliva and blood.... It took off leaving me next to the guillotine and Tali. "TOO MUCH FOR YA GODZILLA YOU PUSSY!!!!" Tali looked at me, "Wow you took on a full sized dragon.... FUCKING AWESOME MAN!!" I got up and found that I was still somewhat nude. I used my claws to slice through Tali's ropes. "Thanks sparky... I never thought you'd be saving me... Oh and by the way I think we are even now!" "Yah I guess so... Lets see in saints row you where attacked by the fucking cops and I had to save your ass..." "What about the snowmobile accident..." " one for one I guess, "We'll then there was the... Oh wait that's when I broke my leg.. Right so this does make us even. But you gotta admit... Saints row was a fucking blast!!" We laughed as the dragon roared off into the distance. We collected a weapon from one of the dead guards. A large one handed axe. Arming the axe I pulled on his light studded armor... "HELL NO SPARKY TAKE THAT OFF..." "What the fuck!? Calm you ass down... Why not?!?" "We'll... I think I need it more... Girl hello!!" I sighed and let her have it. Besides being a lizard I looked fucking hot in scales!

As we prepared to leave town the giant dragon once again entered the town... Quickly we dove into a nearby house. Inside was tow of the people who had been present at the execution. One was a prisoner. The other one of the men who had tried to kill us. I decided to go with the man who didn't try to kill me... "Over here come on let's get out of here you two..." Aparantly there was a hidden exit located behind a hidden book case... " Hey Tali... You thinking what I'm thinking?!?" "Probably not..." "Yah your probably right... You wanna... you know... Make out when we get out of here? It's Skyrim why not screw around..." "Aw fuck yes!!! PLEAAAAAASE!!!" The guy with us looked at us, "You two each other?!?" "You could say that..." " Well the exit is just outside the cage... Watch out for spiders the area is full of them. I nodded and he just seemed to slip out. Gone into another dimension. "Lets fuck some spiders..." I spoke out loud. Tali drew her bow and me my axe. I charged out into the caves open to greet with giant spiders. I swung my axe greeting a slider into the head which rolled into the ground. An arrow twipped past me and lodged itself into the wall. Turning I cursed, "WATCH IT IM STANDING HERE!!" She giggled and fired another. I dove into cover... "Very funny Tali you realize that ammunition is limited right!?!?" "Yah I knew that sparky." We continued on... As we approached the caves end the light of day filled our eyes nearly blinding us. Nothing but forests and trees. I looked at Tali... "Let's have some fun shall we..."


We dove into the forest's flowery ground... I slowly removed Tali's armor... Exposing her soft skin as smooth as silk in the morning. I felt my self sexually arroused. My scales covering my cloaca began to split. Feeling a erection coming a long and notched dick slowly began to emerge. Pink and extremely sensitive the twenlve to thirteen inch cock covered in small spiked and eradicated edges. It was fucking stiff as a bone. I looked at Tali in the eyes, "You fucking ready?" "Think you can handle it?! Tali reached her arm down and gripped my cock... The feeling of her soft hand running down all the ridges made my skin fill with that butterfly feeling. Shuddering with the pleasure like when you masterbate only it's much more sensitive like my dick was filled with tickler nubs. Tali laid down and I climbed over her on top of her... Feeling my dick I pressed my hand onto the length and quickly pushed it into place. Like a heat seeking missil locking in on its target located in a bridge I dove the to rocket into its target... The pink erection and skin of my cock rubbed itself silly along the skin of Tali's vagina wall, I bet she never expected this in her program coding. Hah... I slowly ran my dick against the wall and slowly but Shirley built up speed. This you gotta remember it wasn't my first rodeo. But it was my first time being a reptile... I always wondered how a Tyrannosaurus rex had sex now I know how... Clearly it was very sexual. As I came in and out a suddenly almost urgent feeling came up... It was clear that I should have wore a condom! Hah just kidding its a video game I can't get people pregnant... Can I?!" I fell to the ground as white sperm and what the kids call today cum poured out of Tali's lips... Panting we both fell to the ground in exhaustion... I muttered these words, "That... Pant.... Was Fucking... Amazing... Pant... What next?!?!" Tali responded, "That was amazing... Pant want to call it a day? And camp till morning?" "Let's go to cave and sleep there. I need a bath..." Tali giggled.

We made a bed out of whatever we could find and while we were both nude I found it much harder to rise myself of my erection... Even though it was hard to sleep in the dark Everytime I tried to move I found myself touching Tali who giggled. Halfway ghrought the night we had snuggled up and found my dick rubbing against Tali's chest. Careful not to affix sort cum on here I tried to control my urge to ejaculate which was much harder than it looks.



The light of day came where we found ourselves surrounded by a army of archers. "Have fun I see!" I covered my crotch as the guy laughed, "Hey it's not funny... Sometimes we sleep like that..." Tali interrupted, "is there something you need?" "We recently lost many of our men to dragons... Have you by any chance seen any flying around here?" I nodded pointed towards the cave... It was in the city beyond that cave. He nodded and with that the men moved on one stopped, "Your lucky you have such a hot wife... You lucky argonian bastard." I chuckled very funny.

Tali quickly got dress and I stood back and eventually found I had to piss. "Tali I have to piss... I'll catch up with you in a few..." I darted into the forest looking for a clean area to make a mark. No need to take my pants off but when lizards piss they have to open their cloacal just to piss. What a drag... It kind of made me miss being a human.

I finished up and ran back to Tali... She was just finishing up placing the armor on. "Well that was amazing sex if I say so myself." "You weren't so bad yourself sparky." Let's get moving maybe we can find the next town... Really I don't have a clue where we are... I never really got around to playing Skyrim. "YOU NEVER PLAYED SKYRIM!?!? WHAT THD FUCK SPARKY!!!" What sorry I was going to buy it but when I learned that it was fifty nine ninty nine I said no way..." Tali sighed, "Then please tell me you know how to use a sword!" "Yeeeeee..... No..." "AWW GODDAMN IT SPARKY DO YOUR FUCKING HOMEWORK!!!" " I WISH I COULD BUT IM A SUPER COMPUTER YOU KNOW THAT DOES GOOD SEX!!!" Tali's cheeks went red as she blushed... "Let's go... Here..." I held out my hand, Tali gripped it with a firm grip... "Please boner hold off.." I muttered with no avail... "As Godfucking damn it!!! Why MUTHER of god do you have to doom me to a erection in the hand of my girl friend!!! WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!"

The road went to the end of the forest where we found our first sign pointing towards a city that the arrows a called mistwood. "Tali do you know where we are suppose to go?" "Fuck no sparky!!! Lets just to that way..." When I was at home I found out that by watching YouTube I could figure out how to play games with Walkthroughs one I saw on Skyrim followed a furry named K-Joor. He made his way to mistwood while heading towards the guild of thieves.


As we approached the next set of obstical a we found that the area was filled with demonic skeletons. And when you killed these skeletons your weapon suddenly got covered in blood... "GREAT FUCKING JOB BETHSEDA!!!!" Naw I can't complain they make great games like fallout 3 and fallout new Vegas. Though I'm always screwing myself in fallout 3 it was still fun. Lets just hope I don't have the same fate in Skyrim.

I swung my axe straight into one of the skeletons head.. Off it rolled... I picked up the head and threw it at the other skeleton, "FUCK YAH BASTARD!!! HAVING A BALL!!!" Inside I laughed but outside I felt crazy. I had a feeling that the air in the games was kind of thin. I killed the last skeleton. I collapsed on the ground. "Sparky are you okay? You seem very hostile..." I was hungry and well... Tired... "Is there any food in this game that isn't digital... I haven't eaten since saints row 3... And I am very hungry. She nodded and disappeared into the forest. I was beginning to go crazy from the lack of food. While Tali was away I looked through the skeletons items. Finding a small metal great sword and a one handed orc sword. A sword shaped like a lightning bolt with jagged edges and a covered handle it was a sword suited for a warrior no doubt. I stowed my two handed axe and armed my one handed sword. All I needed was another one handed weapon then I would be complete!!

Tali returned holding a glowing potion... Weird as it was I had a feeling that she must have bent the rules in the game... "What is that?" "It's a mixed diminsion meal... It should keep you from needing to eat but will make you more AI than human... Look its either that or die..." "We'll give me some time to think about it... That means that I will be sperated from my body.
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I've done skyrim, far cry, saints row, mass effect, mirror edge, half life, SOCOM, portal 2, pikmon, pokemon, batman, halo, now I have to do minecraft!!

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 Post subject: Re: Skyrimjob (skyrim parody)
PostPosted: Sat Oct 27, 2012 10:12 am 
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Oracle of the Slipper
Posts: 2661
Species: Weesaur
Location: Ankh Ridge, Alyeska
I feel like a koala bear just crapped a rainbow in my brain! :)

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