Legacy LD5

NOTE: Using this topic to vent and get this out of my system.
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Really, if I didn't knew any better I'd think I might be having some kind of bi-polar dissorder or something.

Sometimes... I just get mad or I snap at 'nothing' 4 hours later: I'm perfectly happy and smiling, maybe even making a few jokes here and there.
It's also hard of me to get out of these 'moments', like: You could say: "You just need to cool down for a bit" But that's easier said than done.
When I'm in those moods it's kind of like I'm walking through a thick fog, you can compare it to being in a theme park.
Why are you happy? Because you're enjoying the moment, so you're in a moment (or state) of happiness.

Likewise: I'm in a state of anger (or grudges) and I can't see past it and the only 'solution' I've found for myself is:
Sit down, do absolutely nothing, wait for the 'anger episode' to pass, relativate the subject, realise how stupid you've been and move on.
When I need some time for myself I 'really' need some time for myself and you could say something along the lines of:
"Oh, you just need to go read a book or play a game or something" Sorry, but I can't do that, if I start reading books or playing games then those feelings are still stirring inside my head, making the mess even greater than before. No, I really need to sit down, that's how bad this is and it's driving me nuts.
Also, this isn't something I've got 'just now', it's something I've been dealing with for as long as I can remember and I dunno if I have to go see someone for this.


Another thing bothering me is: People in general. Last time I went to Maastricht (Place in the Netherlands) and it really changed from the way I remembered it.
People have become more bothersome there like: Standing in a line at one counter because they need to be at the 'other' counter (WTF people?) But also going as far as to randomly talk at you on the street, like: I was walking, minding my own buisiness and then some girl started saying things to me like: "See anything interesting?" (Weirdest and most awkward way for an opening sentence, I mean: Why not say something like: "Can I ask you something?" Or asking for directions... not like THIS) Naturally like anyone would've reacted I was creeped out and I was like: "What do you want from me? Why are you asking me these questions? Do I know you?... I don't know you" and then I walked on. Like Jesus Christ people! Why would you do that? If you see a person walking, let them walk, don't stop them for whatever random reason your mind comes up with! It's like people these days (especially the ones from Maastricht) don't get any education as to: "How to behave in Real life" or towards total strangers for that reason. I swear if I had someone do that to me again I'd just ask: "Do I know you from somewhere?" and if they can't answer that question, my next reaction would be: "Then fuck off!". I don't like being an asshole to people and I easily feel bad for stuff I do, but it seems that some people just need to learn things the hard way.


The last thing that's been bothering me: other Furries.
Sometimes I just comment on someone's work saying something like: "Great comic you did there, I really like how you did <this> and <that> defenitely keep up the good work" (you know, generally being nice and supportive) and the artists responds to every single comment... except mine. I've got this feeling before but now I've been feeling it more than ever: The feeling that I'm being ignored by almost EVERYONE. It's like: Everyone whose not watching me doesn't want to have anything to do with me (with a few exceptions here and there) I'm always left wondering what I ever did to people to deserve this... I also refrained from asking because every time I ask a simple question I get reponses (conveniently through private messages on FA or DA) like: "Mind your own buisiness" or "I know you, you're that cuntsucker from **** and I don't want to have anything to do with you." and... well, to be really honest: I've had worse. (Macrophile.com comes to mind)

You could just say: "Well, that means they're not worth your time" and "Sucks to be them then" And 'agreed': If this were to happen with random trolls, then Yeah, I would've agreed with you 100%, they are lifeless cuntsuckers themselves. But the people I'm talking about are usually well known artists that most people know and support and really! I couldn't tell you HOW I've managed to get inside their fur. WHAT I did that makes them hate me the way some people do, sometimes I think there's a new trend going on to 'gather' the artists that matter and shun the ones they can't use. I dunno what happened, I don't wanna know what happened and frankly: I just wanna leave these people alone in whatever personal warfare they're planning against other users and just have some peace. Thsi has made me very afraid to talk to artists I see and like, simply because I'm afraid if I will get the same reactions I did back then. It's also been the biggest reason why I never ever attended a furcon ever before, simply because I'm afraid that those artists will be there and mention to everyone what a horrible person I am, drag me in a corner and beat me to death or just hummiliate me at the con... anything's possible at this point.

I really dunno why I stay on sites like Furaffinity or Deviantart when I always tend to get this shit over me. Shit of which I completely dunno how it got started.
People mention something from like 6 or 7 years ago (when I was still an insecure teen) and they're still talking about it as if I was solely responsible for 9/11 or some other crap.
Really, the only reason why I'm staying is because I still have people who believe in me, people I believe in, people I cherish and care about, people who still somewhat like my work (or even if they just merely 'glance' at it, that already makes me happy, the thought that people actually wanna look at what I did)
If I didn't have that... well, I would've ended up under a train a long time ago. Yes, I've considered suïcide, but I know that in the back of my head, that's not the best option and only the easiest way out, I have to face my problems like everyone else does... eventually I will find peace, but first I wanna accomplish something and be happy.

/End of vent.

I'm sorry for this gloomy topic, I just needed someplace to express my feelings.

Sounds like pretty standard frustrations and rants.

Don't get me wrong, there are of course cliques and idiots. And lots won't accept you. I myself, I tried to start up a dialogue with a guy on FA who's art I cream over a couple months back, and was given a pretty cold shoulder, and you think 'Oh, he's just shy" and then you see him fanboy with like 3 other people.

The important thing to remember, Billy, is that people will always be that way. You can't ever think it's your fault for someone else blowing you off. It's just human nature, and especially online, people float in and out of different cliques alla time.

If if makes you feel any better, I've always thought you were part of LD5 and I would be sad if you stopped coming around. I actually like to keep people as friends who are just nice people with *similar* interests and who just hang out and have fun. That's why I keep LD5 running. Sure, dozens...and I mean dozens...of now-popular people have been "through" LD5 (as Blue says, like some sort of "Furry boot camp"), but I try not to let that get me down. I try not to fault those who found their niche and the cluster of friends they like to hang out with.

And you have to also realize, sites like FA and macrophile.com...Jesus, they're the goddamned epitome of inbred love-me festivals. When a key feature of your site is the ability for people to worship you...yeah, that should be your first clue.

Also, if I had a slipper for every time I had to make this speech, I'd be a happy weesaur.

Eh, there's nothing wrong with getting pissed at people and needing to vent. Hell, I do it all the time. ^^

People suck more often than not, end of story. They just do. Fortunately there are a few gems out there who are pretty nice people, you just have to wade through a lot of shit to find them some days.

There are definitely far too many hugbox white knight training camps out there with the sole purpose of churning out masses of fan tards to worship a select few of self titled elite souls, and bear their teeth at anyone else who dares ask for attention. I know I went through my fair share of that shit for the first few years I was around the net, and hell, I still do. There are tons of people out there that seemed nice, and they won't let anyone in for some reason. I don't get it. Some of them believe that they only need a very select group of friends, and to hell with anyone else. Others collect popular people, and step on their throats as required to climb the internet ladder of popularity. But some don't.

You're always going to get shitheads that go around treating everyone like crap for some reason, and you're going to get others who go out of their way to make sure you're having a bad time, and that everyone gives you a rough go of it. Fortunately you can always pack up your marbles and go somewhere else for a while. Like Dino said, there's been more than a few people who have come through here over the years only to move to greener pastures, but some of us are still around. Even though I'm not the biggest fan of all the content that may be posted here, the place is still an old home, and I have no intentions of abandoning it.

Besides, there's more than enough of me to go around. I occupy several timezones, I'm told.

TL;DR, there's more than a few places out here to hang your hat and meet people. The same goes for offline as well. You'd be surprised how many social groups there are in person, doing everything from playing board games to just having a cup of coffee and shooting the shit. Look around, and see what you can find. You might just locate exactly what you've been looking for.

Well hearing this story, you're right. It's not something I shouldn't be worrying over then.
I think in the course of things I guess I kinda forgot that FA is prone for that sort of behaviour. ^^;
"the goddamned epitome of inbred love-me festivals" -I should remember that one.

I guess I just should just be careful not turning into one myself.
Thank you for the insightful comment, really appreciate it. *offers you a slipper*




That's a side of the fandom I've never seen before, then again looking back; it does explain some of the stuff that's been happening left and right.
You're definitly right though, there are fantards in every single corner and I guess I should just be looking for what works best for me.

Looking back, I dunno why I ever left this place in the first place. Guess I could say: It's good to be back. =3
Thanks a lot for your support Tomby. ^^

I make no claim to any knowledge of the language or culture, but a more accurate translation might be "Do you like what you see?" (i.e. "Do you find me physically attractive?")


"Officer, I know I was speeding, but I don't think it's fair - there were plenty of other cars around me who were going just as fast, so why did I get the ticket?"
Said the policeman, "When you go fishing... did you ever catch all the fish?"


As mentioned above, "Talented" and "Asshole" are not mutually exclusive. Far from it, in fact.


No it is not. When any subculture decides to hold a convention in the real world, they are subject to the same social norms as anyone else. They may wear their internet handle around their neck (completely optional, mind you), but for the most part they have to check their attitude at the door. Have you ever looked at the staff list for such an event? Volunteer security is HUGE. Their primary objective is to prevent exactly this kind of schoolyard shullbit between (presumably) rational adults. No matter how big their fanbase, nothing takes Mr. or Ms. Talented Asshole down a peg like throwing a tantrum in public. (See also: Paris Hilton)


One of the defining points of the Internet (and computers in general) is that it's very hard to completely lose information. Stuff from years past keeps resurfacing, for better or for worse. When people get too wrapped up in Internet DramaTM the only surefire way to escape it is to change their internet handle and start over with a clean slate - breaking all ties to the previous account(s) and perhaps even persona(e). In any case, "Time" is irrelevant when it comes to digging up dirt on someone. If you must respond to this type of personal attack, I suggest pointing out that you have changed/matured considerably in that length of time, and lament that they have not.

There are darker sides to any fandom. After all, the root of the word(s) is Fanatic, and they're not exactly even minded people. ^^()

And no worries. :3

Nope, wasn't in that direction and even if it were; she expressed it in a very awkward way.
Given, my reaction wasn't all that 'good' either, but what do you expect when you're asked a random question like that?
(eg. I'm not good at reading human data directly without analysing it)


Just for a heads-up, this topic was written when I was depressed, can't think of anyone who can think straight when they're depressed. (reason why some people commit suïcide for example; because they're in that moment of depression and can't think any further)
In short: Close, but no sigar.


Not always yes, but there's always an exception to the rule.


Didn't knew about volunteer security (did know that there was security, just not this high) and yes, that makes sense.


Acceptable logic accepted. =3
Though, I have switched accounts before (going from BillyTheCat128 to CrescoTheEKO) but I kept all ties, which means that I moved for nothing. =P
Thank you very much. ^_^

Heh, heh...that's my favorite part! I love when people point out my early days of the Internet™ and how I was quite the vocal prick when it came to arr-teests and how I destroyed mailing lists and friendships, etc. *clears throat and straightens* Er, I mean, yeah, I don't enjoy how I was back then at all. I've really matured!

You've become ripe.

This parrot is dead!



It's no longer alive.