- Part 3 - (about time, yes ? )
Chapter 13 - If it wasn't for bad luck, you'd have no luck at all
Dawn, the next day....
Gary woke up to find the rest of the party eating breakfast, he had stranger dreams following the one about the titan, ones he tried to put out of his mind, they kept occupying it though even as he sat down to have breakfast with the others.
The most important meal of the day.....
Emmet had made the group scrambled eggs, toast, bacon, some oatmeal, and the choice of juice or milk to wash it all down. After a long night everything looked good. Gary didn't know where to start, so he had a bit of everything.
Some light conversation....
Gary remembered to ask Reg what he wanted to ask him last night. If the titan was friendly or not. Whatever everyone was talking about before suddenly stopped. It was the moment of truth, would Reg tell a tall tale or the truth ? Turns out Reg didn't know, no one knew.
About the Titan....
It seems the last time the titan was woken up on a quest like this was hundreds of thousands of years ago. So all anyone knew about him was that he was called awake to do the same as this time. Rid them of a problem that they couldn't handle on their own. Therefore what everyone knew about the titan was basically a story.
Gary couldn't believe it. "You mean to tell me this Titan may not even be real ?" he shouted out. Everyone in the group nodded. "Or at least no longer alive, as it's been so long he could be nothing more then a pile of bones for all we know." Gary had calmed down somewhat from his shout. Again everyone nodded.
Gary looked like he had just heard the worst news of his life. What was the point to this quest if they get to where they're going an no one is there, then what ? Then the dragon might as well find a home in the kingdom to live in, take over the king's castle and whatever have you.
No, that wasn't a good Idea, Gary knew for things to be set right the titan had to waiting for them at the end of the quest. He looked towards the mountains, they seemed so far away, yet so close you could touch them, it was going to be a long day.
Chapter 14 - Over the river and through the woods
The party was once more on it's way toward the mountains. Just ahead was a huge river with an old stone bridge crossing it. Now mind you it looked just like every other bridge crossing every other river. That's normal. However this bridge and river combo was different for Gary. For he'd never seen a canyon before today.
That's right, this bridge was crossing a canyon, the river was way down at the bottom of the canyon. One of those deep canyons that must of took ages for the river to carve out. All Gary could think about is how far DOWN it was from the edge of the canyon were they all stood at presently.
"It must be miles." Gary said.
"No, not miles, at least I don't think it is." Jack said.
"Thousands of feet perhaps ?" Reg asked.
"3,465.12 feet to be precise." Richard said.
"Wouldn't .12 be an inch ?" Emmet asked.
"Yes." Richard answered.
"Then why wouldn't they just say it's 3,465 feet and 1 inch ?" Emmet asked.
Everyone knew Emmet was right of course, but the conversation ended right there due to an interruption, this interruption came in the shape of a troll. In fact several trolls who had come out from under the bridge they were only a few feet from.
Now these weren't your normal trolls that you read about in stories. Heavens no, these were your 'Spent one too many years in their parents basement starting flame wars on BBS's for no other reason then because they are desperate for attention' Trolls also known as UberNerds or LeetGeeks.....
Excuse me ?
Yes ?
I think your stretching the credibility of this story by introducing people from the 21st century into what is clearly something set in ye olden times.
What if it takes place in the far future after civilization has collapsed mister smarty pants ?
.....Hadn't thought about that.....
Can I continue ?
Yes, feel free to do so, I won't interrupt you again.
Okay, now where was I ?
Something about Basement Trolls.
Ah, yes.
Chapter 15 - Troll Bridge
( Yes, that's a horrible pun, feel free to kill the writer later on. )
Now these weren't your normal trolls that you read about in stories. Heavens no, these were your 'Spent one too many years in their parents basement starting flame wars on BBS's for no other reason then because they are desperate for attention' Trolls also known as UberNerds or LeetGeeks..... (Wait, we said that, fast forward)
HOWEVER, they had spent thousands of years evolving or devolving whatever the case may be into big, ugly, smelly, green, slimy, putrid..... (I so need a thesaurus) bags of flesh. In other words they hadn't showered in the thousands of years they been evolving, devolving, whatever, they've been living under the bridge.
In other words they looked like the classic Troll found under a bridge, only with pocket protectors and thick heavy nerd style glasses on them, and can beat you over the head with all the useless trivia they know, that you don't WANT to know.
In other words they can play six degrees of Kevin Bacon better then ANYONE.
Now orcs, the party can deal with, these trolls are another matter. Instead of fighting them they have to avoid them and their endless chattering about who is connected to whom and what film they were in with whoever and who that actor is and how they are connected to KEVIN BACON !
The party makes their way across the bridge as fast as they can....
"I can link Eddie Deezan to Kevin Bacon...." one Troll says as they pass right by him.
"Back, back, I say" Richard says as he pushes the trolls away from the party....
"No, really, I can link Eddie Deezan to Kevin Baaaaacoooooon....." The troll they passed by screams as he falls from the bridge, and falls, and falls, and falls, it's quite a long drop, and falls, and falls.... "Hey, I can see my house from up here." the falling troll says. And falls, and falls, and falls, and falls, and falls, and falls some more.
Suddenly, he feels a tapping on his shoulder and looks to see who it is tapping on his shoulder. It's a scrawny looking Coyote, holding a sign. On the sign it reads 'Let an expert show you how it's done.' The troll scoots over a bit while still falling, allowing the scrawny looking Coyote to plummet before he does. He watches the coyote fall and hit the ground next to the river. FUHWHUMP !
"Oh, this is going to hurt, isn't it ?" The troll says. Yes, indeed it is. W H A N G ! Now, don't worry about the Coyote folks, he has super regenerative powers, so he's fine and dandy, the troll however is street pizza for $1.95 a slice. Yes, I wrote this chapter JUST so I could have a cameo by Wile E Coyote in my story, and do a Tex Avery gag too.
The party makes it across the bridge and standing there is the biggest baddest looking troll this side of the Mississippi. This side being the west side of the Mississippi just so you know just how big and bad this troll is folks.
The giant troll holds out a hand before the party. "PAY !" he snorts from his grossly misshapen face. "Do we fight him ?" Gary asks the others. "PAY !" the uglier then sin Troll says again. "No, we do not." says Reg. "We have to pay him money." says Jack. "How much ?" Gary asks. "PAY !" the horribly disfigured Troll shouts again. "Just give him money until he shuts up." Richard said.
With that the party pays the Troll who then lets them pass by.
( See, it was a Troll Bridge after all, just like the chapter title said it was. )
Chapter 16 - Paul Bunny-uhm : The weally weally weelly weally wide wabbit.
( No more puns, I promise )
The party was a bit shook up after the encounter with the Trolls, but none the worse for wear. "Are all Trolls like that ?" asked Gary. "No, just the ones who live under bridges like they do." Reg said. "We managed to escape with our wits intact." Jack said. "Could of been worse." Richard said. "How ?" asked Emmet. "They could of challenged us to round of Trivial Pursuit." Richard said.
Everyone agreed they got off easy, nothing is worse the playing Trivial Pursuit with a bunch of Bridge Trolls who know all the answers I might add. The party took five at the next clearing to gather their thoughts and to check the map to see where they were to see if they were making any progress or not.
Now using the map they realize they are close to Paul's Place.
"Who's Paul ?" Asked Gary. Now that's is a good question right there you betcha.
"He lives in this part of the woods, you'll like him, he's shall we say, different." Reg said. Different is good, trust me on this one.
"We'll have lunch with him." Jack said, "Bet he'll have carrot cake."
"He always has Carrot cake." Richard said. True enough.
"So I'd win that bet, wouldn't I ?" Jack asked. Also true.
A log cabin sitting in the woods was where Paul lived. Now this was no ordinary log cabin by any means. First it was made of redwood trees, and lots of them. Second it was BIG, I mean really big, I mean really, really big, I mean really, really, really big. Like a log cabin on steroids basically.
The party parked their horses just outside the massive log cabin's porch. Gary whistled as he looked over the huge building. "This is why we brought climbing gear along." Reg said. Indeed, they had to use ropes to get up the porch steps. It didn't take long to get everyone on the porch mostly because there were only 3 steps.
On the porch Gary saw two doors, one a size the party members could fit through, an another that towered high overhead. "So Paul's a giant I take it ?" Gary asked. "Yes." said Richard. Gary couldn't wait to meet him, perhaps he was a wolf like he was, only larger, much larger.
Turns out Paul wasn't a wolf, but a rabbit, as wide as he was tall, his ears bent over from the ceiling of the cabin. He also didn't or couldn't speak and pantomimed everything to converse with everyone.
He bowed in greetings when everyone entered his home. He used his hand paws a lot to represent his guests who only came up to his ankles. He asked how long it took for them to walk there, tapping his wrist to indicate time, then placing two fingers down and walking them along his other hand paw to indicate the walking party.
Gary did like the huge rabbit, for he was comical as all get out mimicking the trip they had so far as it was told to him, asking questions about the orcs, then the Trolls as each was mentioned in the tale.
Granted the tale was told by Reg who embellished it greatly like he does. 50 orcs. No, it was 100. 100 orcs, you say. No, it was 1000. 1000 you sure about that ? Jack couldn't help but help Reg out with the story of their trip to Paul's place.
As big as Paul was he was as gentle as could be, as they were served Carrot cake for lunch, Just as predicted. It was a fine lunch, good conversation and a host unlike any other Gary had ever met before.
Gary wondered about his dad as he watched the massive rabbit listen and interrupt the story as each point that was brought up by Jack about how many creatures they fought. Granted they didn't fight the Trolls, but that didn't stop Reg from saying they did.
It was a perfect lazy afternoon.
Now mind you when I said that Paul was as wide as he was tall, I didn't mean he was chunky or fat, no, he was as muscular as all get out. Like he built the stone bridge they had crossed earlier. Truth be known he did indeed build that bridge a long time ago.
Gary once he found that out, looked at Paul, he didn't look like he was thousands upon thousands of years old, in fact he looked quite young, so full of life and energy, nothing like those wise old furs in stories he was told as a cub.
Gary was learning a lot about judging a book by it's cover on this trip.
Chapter 17 - On the road again
( Oh come on, you saw this one coming didn't you ? )
Gary didn't want to leave Paul's place, for the first time on this quest he felt like he was home there with the overly huge rabbit looking after him like he was a cub still. Gary sighed deeply. He wanted to stay, he was missing Paul even after only spending a few hours with the huge rabbit.
Perhaps once this is over Gary thought.
Once again the party was on the open road once more. A bit full after lunch only because the carrot cake was bigger then any of them, even sliced it took some time to eat it all. Good thing Paul helped or they'd still be eating it. Not that Gary wouldn't mind staying there overnight.
There's that whole quest thing after all.
Gary had been thinking about this more and more as they neared the mountains. What he imagined was a group of furs not unlike them, thousands upon thousands of years ago, going on a quest JUST like this one.
Stopping at the same places, meeting the same folks, fighting the same monsters, or in one case just making a mad dash for it to have to not face them at all. He wondered if this was fate. What if the last group had someone like him with them.
His dad perhaps, or his grand dad, or his great grand dad, or so on.
Perhaps they ALL been on this very quest, century after century, age after age, generation after generation of young giant wolves like him riding along this very path, meeting up with the titan wolf far in the mountains.
Gary could practically sees these ancestors of his walking alongside him down this dusty old trail, all with other folks riding on horseback, going back millions of years even, all of them looking more or less like he does, all the riders looking somewhat like his friends do.
All heading towards the mountains.
The craggy peaks were just ahead, they didn't seem so far away as when this whole thing started, back when they first met the king, it seemed like ages ago, it was only a few days actually, but it felt like months had gone by to Gary. He felt a lot older now then the simple farm cub that daydreamed about going on an adventure.
He was having that adventure right NOW. Heading for the great unknown. About to meet a legend, The Titan himself. A creature so huge it makes giants look tiny. Gary thought about Paul and how big he was. He paused and recalled what Reg said to him. "I'm the Giant and your the Titan." Reg told him standing on his chest.
Reg was about hand paw size more or less. Gary felt very small suddenly, as Paul wasn't small by any means, yet this Titan was so big it'd make even Paul seem small next to him. Perhaps his dream wasn't too far off the mark when he saw the rising wolf in them after all.
"We're here." the voice of Richard sounded out and brought Gary out of his trance.
Chapter 18 - The Foothills
The area was marked by a massive sign that was as big as a barn, it was grown over by ivy and moss, impossible to read what was written on it, if they could they would of seen it said 'Beware : No Furs Land' The sign was too old anyway even if they could, the paint and paper of the sign had long gone replaced by climbing and clinging plants.
The sign was augmented many times over the years anyway, a big Welcome to Woulfe's land was added to the Beware later on, then that was replaced by an even friendlier message, and so was that, and that one as well, and so forth and so on.
So if one could see what the sign said NOW, it'd read 'Beware Welcome Mega Fur Land Trespassers Eaten' due to the several signs pasted over one another over the ages, however all it said thanks to the plants covering it was BWMFLTE, which is even more illogical as it doesn't mean anything in any language.
It is known only as The Titan's Sign for it is at the base of the mountains, planted right there at the foothills for all the world to see and marvel at it's cryptic message of BWMFLTE that scholars debate over it's meaning for months on end.
Some say that's the Titan's name, if so it's quite odd at that, also hard to say.
You try it.
"Let's make camp here, it'll be dark soon, tomorrow we start up the mountain." Emmet said. With that camp was set up followed shortly by dinner. Dinner was a light affair, some lunch meat sandwiches, a bit of pastry, and some apple cider. The cider tickled Gary's nose as he drank it. Little was said during the meal as if it was forbidden to speak so close to the Titan's lair as if was bad luck to do so.
Gary kept looking up the mountain they were to climb tomorrow, it looked like it was going to be a long day ahead of them then. No way to make short work of that. The adventure was really starting now. What dangers lay on the mountain itself. What trials would they face still, so close and yet so far at the same time.
Gary soon was sleeping along with the rest of the party.
His dreams filled with a wolf that blocked out the sun, moon and stars themselves, The Titan himself, a creature so big he couldn't get his mind around it no matter how hard he tried. Big and black, why black though, what did he know that no one else seem to know.
Why was it black, and why was it so big that Paul was a speck next to it, how did he know this, why was he dreaming this, was it written long ago that it was his duty to wake the titan and no one else. For in his dream he was all alone on the mountain top.
Titanic gong next to him. Swinging the stone hammer, why was it stone, why was there a gong ? Why did he need to swing it ? He swung anyway as if his life depended on this one act. B O N G ! The world shook to it's foundations. A mighty back shape rose up from the darkness. Any tiny part of it bigger then Gary was.
Bigger then Gary will be, for this shape was bigger then ever in the dream, it could reach all the way back to the kingdom without taking a single step. Gary imagined it plucking the terrorizing dragon right from the sky between two fingers. The dragon wasn't tiny as well. Yet to this big black shape it was merely a fly to it.
Gary was surprised how easy it was to rid the kingdom of the dragon, just plucked right from the sky itself and then scolded by the insanely huge black shape. Then freed, it flew away tail tucked between it's legs. Then the titan wolf turned it's full attention on Gary.
The last thing Gary saw in his dream was a eye bigger then any other looking right at him, the soft blueness of the eye told him not to be afraid of him. Yet Gary was afraid, he never felt so tiny in his life looking back at this eye that filled his view.
Gary awoke with a fright.
It was still night, everyone else was still asleep, what did that dream mean ?
Gary went back to sleep, the next dream wasn't any better then the last one was.
( You're going to hate this..... )
- To Be Concluded ! -
( See told you that you'd hate that.... )
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