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Supreme Being
Group: Forum Members Active: 6/21/2007 Posts: 77 |
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I thought I might have a go at this. Be advised. This IS one hell of a Crush sequence.
...ahem.
It wasn't meant to happen, all form of cruel and unusual punishment should have been systematically investigated and abolished by the UN decades ago. but yet. In the remote and lawless wastes of the Saharan desert a man was sentenced. Not to a firing squad, nor to the gallows, but by a tribe of humanoid jackals. To a death by the most unusual means.
Though his sole offence was his descovery of their existance, as he was being apprehended he shot dead several of the tribe's warriors. "A simple beheading was not enough!" the tribe's elders proclaimed in their strange tongue. "this, menace must be dealt with so that even the slain kinsmen will be gratified." And so it was to be..
The dawn of the next day broke and the victim was dragged out of his cage, dishevaled and disorientated the man was carried aross the village and up into the sand dunes. thrown onto a barren patch, naked and shivering in the early morning chill. There was only one of the creatures watching him, it heald a spear, perhaps he would be impaled, or gutted. neither thoughts appealled to him one bit. However, the guarding beast seemed to just be standing there, as if waiting for something. It was an entire minute before he saw another come over the dunes. It was a female. her body was slender but lean, skin deep brown with pitch back paws and palms, her hair braided into long slender strips and judging by her 12 foot stature, must have weighed a quarter ton. Though the man actively avoided eyecontact, the creature never the less gazed at him. She took a good look at what had killed her clansmen, this creature, barely half her size, and lacking any claws, jaws, horns or stings. It was puny and seemed almost unworthy to exist. Her heritage for this businiss goes back far, ever since she first came into heat, she assumed the role of executioness, a role given to her by her mother, whom recieved it from the generation prior. She had no intention on giving the man a quick death, for she had something else in mind. Snarling in distain, she picks the little human up by it's throat supprisingly, not breaking it's neck. The creature tosses the man onto the ground and kicks his sides in hatred, the man knew not what she though, but understood he will not leave this pit alive. He lies the rolled onto his back. holding his side with a hand and awaits the inevitable. Placing on of her feet upon his belly, more than large enough to cover his entire abdomin from pelvis to sternum. The man could feel the warm and firm press of her paw upon him. he feels the leathery toughness of her foot something aquired through a lifetime of walking in the desert. He concieves of pushing her foot of his stomach but fearing for even worse pain, he simply lies there gently resisting her weight. The jackaless, now towering above her victim, applies a small push with her foot, feeling the man beneith it tensen in panic. breathing in the lustful scent of terror. Her soles mashing the man's pliable stomach muscles cool and tender. Standing there, she waits for the man to ease into partial relaxation by rubbing the obsidian black ball of her foot upon his pressured belly, gently.. almost lovingly despite her intentions. moments later, she moves her foot slightly to the side and allows her toes, though as big as golfballs, to carress the victim's flesh. Lying there completely dumbfounded, the man could not help feel slightly aroused by the motions, he struggles to keep his mind away from his leud thoughts. Her soles were remarkably supple while firm and masculine, their strokes like a pleasuring massage as they glistened with the slightest specks of perspiration. A cool desert breeze blew past, and the guard grunted.. Without warning, she placed all her 300 kilos onto that one foot. The sudden rush cought the man completely off unaware, his belly muscles did not at all react until they were pressed flat against his innards. Standing on one slender leg, she feels her wide sole sinking deeply into the man's belly, she feels his muscles spasm as the ball of her foot presses down followed by the sudden rupture of his bladder. The man underfoot now urinating uncontrolably, merely excites the jackaless with his weak struggling.
Clearly aroused, She proceeds to slam the other foot down upon the mans chest, causing him with a loud thud to caugh out speckles of blood. She stood firmly upon the man's prone body, shifting her weight from one foot to another, feeling his soft little form sqaushing benieth her heavy feet. turning to face the human, she places both her great soles onto his belly further crushing it flat. How it must feel for the victim she though, how does it feel to be trampled to death. The jackaless rocks back and forth upon the man's stomach, mashing his intestines into a pulp, feeling the squashing around inside his compressed bodycavity. she could feel the man's bowels empyting beneith the pressure. She could do this all day but knows the human could take not much more of this so with a toothy grin spreading across her muzzle, she places both her feet upon the man's chest, one atop the other. Balancing there she could hear the human gurgle out a single plea, in a language alien to her. His ribs bent inwards, stressed to their limits with the jackaless' entire body weight pressed upon them. He could't move, he couldn't breath, and then they gave. A single rib broke with a dull crack, followed by another, and another, and another. The jackaless' graceful feet sank in deeper with every piece of him that snapped, his chest imploding before his own eyes, his lungs bleeding and tearing, his heart pounded furiously before it too was pressed flat benieth her cruel feet. She stands there, transfixed by the sensation, feeling every individual crack shoot up her legs, her smooth soles pressing against crackling bone and bursting organs. She looks down, and sees the victim's face, bulging red as his heart is squashed, she feel the man give his final primal struggle which was little more than a tingle under her tarblack sole. as an eye burst out of it's socket, and the quivering stopped, she knew, it was done.
<stop here if you don't want to get uber grossed out..... as in Quintin Tarantino grossed out>
... But by no means was she finished. Stepping off the man's crushed chest, the jackaless bends down to pick up his corpse. Delighted with her handywork she breaths in the bloody scent of the victim's body, part of his lung was clearly visible in his mouth as his throat bulged with the all his vitals. Looking into the mans disengorged eye, she smirks. and with one swift movement tears it out with a single bite. "good food should not go to waste." she thought. The jackless prepares to fulful her final task as she raises the corpse over her knee. With a strong upward kick and a downward slam, the dead man's back snapped with a sickening crunch. She then proceeds to bend the ragdolled body back onto it'self it's shoulders to it's pelvis. she lays it gently upon the sandy ground, and precariously places a foot onto it. The broken body simply makes a quiet squelch, her foot more than big enough to cover the torso now that it is bent in two. She slowly applies pressure feeling the firmness of the body now that it's internal contents have no where to go. the jackaless soon stands upon the whole body with just that one foot. Bringling the second foot up and onto the corpse's twisted torso, she sighs... pauses and with a single bounce, disembowels it. Feeling flesh giving way to bone, giving way to organs, the sudden rush of pressure too great for the bodycavity. the deceased man's intestines, liver and stomach squirt out of a sudden gash in the belly with a sensual squelch before the remainder of his giblets oozed out. Lying there on the harsh dry sand, his organs all spilled out in a conic fashion each hanging to another by afew gorey threads. The jackaless, finally satisfied, rubs her bloodied feet on the man's body, now merely a flattened meat sack. As she walks away from the scene, she takes care to deliberabtely tread on the individual evicerated organs, each giving way to her firm sole with a squelch, or splat or gurgle.
.. oright. I'm done..
So says the man with the duct-taped mouse |
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Supreme Being
Group: Forum Members Active: 6/16/2007 Posts: 381 |
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I love the way you combined the gentle caressing with the extreme violence, because combining gentle caressing with extreme violence rocks.
Let's hear it for the combination of gentle caressing with extreme violence! Lair the rex's visit ..... dare you if
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Supreme Being
Group: Forum Members Active: 6/21/2007 Posts: 77 |
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aye. thanks. Hope the typos weren't too bad.lol So says the man with the duct-taped mouse |
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Supreme Being
Group: Forum Members Active: 6/29/2007 Posts: 326 |
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Oooooh... very well written!
Yeah, yeah.... oooh... aaaah... this is how it always goes and then there is the running... and screaming Visit my lair
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Forum Administrator
Group: Forum Members Active: 6/18/2018 Posts: 1,755 |
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Damn, TWO mega-orgasmic stories in one visit! I think my head just exploded! ------------------------------- Dinosorceror, Administrator Lava Dome Five Enterprises |
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Supreme Being
Group: Forum Members Active: 5/17/2007 Posts: 120 |
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Wow! Now that was a pretty interesting read! You are very descriptive, very likable. One small thing you need to work on- it seemed rather jumbled together and needs to be spaced out abit more.
Experience the most advanced forum-based RPG with PvP battling, Equipment Shops, Guild System, dedicated RolePlaying, and much-much more! Start today and go to www.GaladoriaOnline.com for all your RPing needs! Should you join, please say you've been refered by Xenoturian. |
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Posted 3/17/2007 10:30 PM |
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Supreme Being
Group: Forum Members Active: 3/22/2011 Posts: 152 |
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I finally got around to reading this, and I'll say that I'm glad I did, omi gawd.
Really good, vivid description, I think. For me, it was just enough for my mind to fill in the blanks, so, it was cinematic, but the text didn't have to be logomaniacal, so that it read smoothly, but was above a 4th-grade level.
It was also clear and it moved forward well. The only thing that was confusing is when you switched between US- and metric units i.e. "her 12 foot stature, must have weighed a quarter tonn." If you were trying to stick to pounds here, she'd weigh more like a real ton, or around 550 kilograms. (Proportional math is admittedly a bitch.)
I thought the flow and descriptions were really good. I really liked the rate, because it adds a certain realness to it all -- especially about 1/3 through during the stompy part -- a medium-short sentence for each action, taking about as long as it would to read as the action would take to happen. I can't be sure whether you did this on purpose, but it's a really good device either way.
Alex is right tho, your paragraphing does need a little bit of work. Can't say that took away from the story for me, but it prob'ly bothers some people when their yiff/sprotch is hard to read in any way. |
Something more important than Patch's sentiments: SAVE the goddamned INTERNET! |
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Supreme Being
Group: Forum Members Active: 6/21/2007 Posts: 77 |
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alas it was true that I did not read back the story nor even spell check it. I'll upload the fixed version soon.So says the man with the duct-taped mouse |
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