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"Y'know, it's never a good sign when the story begins with all of us
sitting in the LD5 conference room," sighed Jenn. "But I'm afraid this time
it's rather appropriate."
The conference room was very plain, not much more than a room with a
rectangular table and chairs. Present at the meeting were all the remaining
employees of Lava Dome Five. Jenn, Dino, Astor and Khith. Dino was the last
to arrive, saying, "Yikes...where the hell is everybody?"
Jenn didn't even bother to glare. Astor and Khith hadn't been handed a
paycheck in over six months, and were only sticking around because they were
living at LD5 for free. Workers like Ampersand and Crystal went off to pursue
employment that involved being paid, and even Helvetica had to take a job as a
graphic artist for a fast food restaurant chain, "Crispy Chicken A-Go-Go".
Dino shrugged a bit and sat down. Astor and Khith were both twiddling
their thumbs. Jenn was going through a stack of thick binders that nearly
obscured her end of the table. "So...uh, can we make this fast? I'm in the
middle of UT," Dino coughed in Jenn's direction, but only received a glare
back from Astor.
"Y'know the funny thing?" Astor grumbled at Dino. "I honestly believe
you really are without a clue as to the situation."
Dino belched to himself. "Oh, it's always the same. We're doomed, we
suck, yada yada yada."
Jenn wasted no time in selecting the heaviest binder and lobbing it at
Dino, knocking him clear off the chair and onto the floor. "Well, DEAR, this
time it's for real. We are absolutely broke. We don't make a product
anymore, we don't provide a service, we make no money. We're livin' on
love. This stack are the bills you 'don't feel like paying' every month. We
are seriously screwed."
Dino decided it was probably better if he stayed where he was.
"So...you're mad that our cell phones don't work again?" This earned him
another binder.
"No," Jenn added verbally, "it means we lose the Dome in a week."
"I knew this job was going nowhere," Khith synth-sighed. "I guess I'll
have to convert Elena into a car-wash or something."
Dino got back up into a chair gruffly. "Oh, nobody ain't doin' nothin',"
he smirked.
"That's precisely the problem, toe-boy," Astor said, pounding the table.
"This is a company of nothing now. There's no product, there's no money,
there's nothing."
"Aw, please. There are plenty of institutions that don't produce
anything yet seem to roll in dough. We just need the proper tax dodge, is
all," Dino replied, rubbing his crest.
"Indeed, your schemes are always so successful," Khith chrred.
"Hey, what about religion? If we were a house of worship, we could just
open the doors and let the donations roll right in." Dino even already had a
name planned: The New Reformed Apostolic Church of the Holy Faithful Spirit.
Jenn squinted, livid. "House of WORSHIP? We couldn't even run a house
of pancakes!"
Dino's wee mind didn't skip a beat. "Well, how about a school then? I
saw on the news the other night that the, uh, last one kinda got stepped on."
"And see, I hate to say it, but that's half the problem in this town,"
Astor said, leaning back...but you couldn't tell, because his head was still
over the table. "There's always giants visiting that wind up wiping something
out. I mean, people aren't gonna live in a city that's constantly being
destroyed."
Dino's eyes were bright. "Well, that could be our angle! The Lava Dome
Interspatial School of...uh, Studies. We'd run a school that would use Lens
portals to resize and bring in people from all over...from here, the Giant's
Realm...anywhere. By having the kids grow up in the same environment, they'd
have more respect for each other. We'd have all the normal classes and then
have some...ahem...special ones."
Khith had already used his tail port to access the Internet for
information. "As a matter of fact, there is government money available to do
this. There's a grant available that would cover a facility that covered high
school and college curriculum."
Dino blinked at Khith. In his mind, the word 'grant' turned into 'free
money.' "Wow, so...we have a facility we can retrofit...and we can get the
money...we'd just need to hire a staff."
Astor thought aloud, "Well...y'know...like I said, I mean, having giants
get even bigger and destroy stuff is kinda what I'm in this company for..."
Dino smiled widely. "Hey, I said we'd get them to live in harmony
*here*. That doesn't cover other planets, dimensions, or cultures that we
don't like. Plus, there's plenty we can simulate. We just have to play the
unity card to get the government moolah, and have some...extracurricular
activities on the side."
Jenn had stayed silent for most of the conversation. Despite what
everyone might have thought, she was not simply waiting for a chance to call
the idea terrible, as the rest of Dino's hairbrained ideas. She was merely
thinking of the large quantity of young boys she'd be exposed to. Still, she
had to play at sanity. "Well, since we really don't have any alternative,
other than to go out of business...I say we do it."
"Wow, I'm not gonna question that response," Dino said, stunned. "So now
we just gotta get the money and a staff."
"And students. And decide on the name of the sports teams," added Astor.
"I hereby nominate Astor to be a gym coach," Dino said, raising his claw.
Astor's brows furrowed a bit, however. "Hey, what...you think I'm not
smart enough to be a real teacher?" Dino proceeded to mutter some choice
words involving locker rooms and extracurricular activities his way, and he
quickly changed his tune. "Yeah, I wanna be the head coach!"
Jenn piped in, "Naturally, we need to have a team called the Raptors."
Dino sighed a bit. "I get the feeling we're going to be interviewing for
quite a while."
Khith sparked up, "Can I still be janitor?"
Astor turned to Khith, surprised. "You mean, you WANNA be janitor?
Don't you want to be...oh, a robotics teacher, or shop teacher or something?
Khith sparked up, "Can I still be janitor?"
---------------------------------------
And thus it begins! I thought this would be a fun story arc to do in the
Lava Dome universe, since it allows everyone to participate. Wanna be a
teacher? And we'll certainly need students, too! Got a good name for a
sports team? A team logo? A better school name than the crappy one Dino came
up with? See all these suggestions and more in the next exciting installment
of...whatever this is! -------------------------------
Dinosorceror, Administrator
Lava Dome Five Enterprises |
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